13 signs you are a Coffee Snob...

admin

Thought this was pretty funny [from 'Food Republic' in the US]:

1. You not only have a regular coffee bar, but a regular barista. He or she knows your usual order, which is whatever happens to be the single-origin special of the day. You have a secret crush on this person and, unbeknownst to them, you both have the same tattoo. It

Brett_H

14. You won't accept an out of town gig without checking on the coffee situation first.

mycuppa

15. You weigh every shot on a scale with 3 decimal points. 16. Every shot or brew is timed with Olympic precision. 17. You find it impossible to enter a cafe unless they use a La Moccha, Sneezio, Slayed-it or kVW and at least 4 robur-E grinders. 18. You wear a tribly or other hipster-hat to mimic the crush you have on your barista (see #1). 19. You talk about shot's opening up all the time. The point at which it "opens" is uber-important. 20. You don't put any beans in your grinder unless they have been blog'd about by at least 2 other sources. 21. There is a pile of ground coffee around your robur-E that exceeds the quantity of beans in the hopper - because you "just can't dial that sucker in atm". there's more, but it's getting late.

askthecoffeeguy

22 You dont travel anywhere, including fabled coffee destinations, without your hand grinder and a clever coffee dripper 'just in case'...

derrilex

23. You order 3/4 length flat whites (Pat) :stir :laugh:

Seeya_Latte

24. You roast

Koffee_Kosmo

25 - I am not a Snob - I am perfectly normal thank you

Brett_H

26. You don't allow tea in the house... PERIOD!

RichardM

Brett H wrote:

26. You don't allow tea in the house... PERIOD!

You need tea to give to anyone who doesn't like your coffee (and takeaway cups to send them on their way).

Brett_H

RichardM wrote:

You need tea to give to anyone who doesn't like your coffee (and takeaway cups to send them on their way).

No RM, you need to give them something: lawn clippings, tree mulch, pot poori etc. it doesn't have to be tea and you're less of a coffee aficionado if it is... except Nerada!

askthecoffeeguy

27 you smile and nod politely when a customer wants to know why your coffee is more expensive than it is in Rosanna

Kevohere

28. You wake up to the realization that your beloved Minore III is no longer sitting on the bench top and you're faced with a problem: which process will I use of the 5 other methods you have, to make your mornin' heart starter :exclaim:

greenman

29. Deciding between the Kenyan Thiaru, El Sal finca Alaska, Wahana, Guatamala Santa Clara for my morning pourover--'decisions, decisions!!' :coffee2: :coffee2:

Brett_H

30. Choosing a beer at a luncheon despite freezing temperatures because the Racilio s20 and Mazzer SJ Electronica look unclean!

askthecoffeeguy

31 you have 3 filter coffees and a flat white before you have 'breakfast'...

C-man

You

Jonathon

[quote author=C-man link=topic=4811.msg40253#msg40253 date=1371955851] You

Brett_H

Jonathon wrote:

Until about a week ago I'd never heard of Geisha, but I want to know why you'd walk into Starbucks in the first place? Until I googled it a minute ago I didn't know that cortado was just a Spanish version of a long mac, but I think anybody who asks for one this side of the Med is a bit of a...well I'll keep it clean. And I really do draw the line at people who laugh at me using my aeropress at work while telling me how good their nespresso machine is!

32. When gifted a voucher to the Neswrecho store you burn it, brew the ashes and pronounce it their best cuppa to date! 33. You refuse to spell Nexpresso proper-like!

Ronin

Jonathon wrote:

Until I googled it a minute ago I didn't know that cortado was just a Spanish version of a long mac

34 You feel the need to point out a Cortados is more of a piccolo than a long mac :-| Ahhh the pointless technicalities

derrilex

35. You know what a cortado is. 😃