Star Schmucks

Reschsmooth

Unfortunately, I can't quite get the first few sentences exactly, but I think he says: "I'll have a f@#$ing large ....... coffee, not that sucky 'undertaste' you people have. Spare me the .....' That's the best I can do. But, this, from a US website: "Finding and purchasing the best green beans in the world is the first step that differentiates Starbucks Coffee from the rest of the coffee industry. Starbucks is well-known for its exceptionally high quality coffees, care in selection, and expertise in roast. Each coffee is selected for the defining qualities that distinguish its origin. This careful selection process illustrates Starbucks passion for buying and roasting the world's best coffee." Viva la cynicism. Patrick

Gonzo

yes yes, all too true, too true... Which is why the mind boggles and finds it hard to understand why they then proceed TO BURN THE LIVING BEEGEESUS OUT OF IT!!!!!! Starschmucks be darned, it's charbucks in the industry. G. PS they didn't happen to mention how every other coffee roaster in the world has access to the very same quality coffees...did they? oh sorry forgot, the quality of one's lounge chairs is much more important than the coffee anyway.

FreshCoffee2

Thought I would revive the competition here...Admin dobbed me in to offer a prize of 500g green coffee beans to the first participant who can translate the first couple of sentences uttered by the pesky squirrel... Patrick had a go, didn't quite get the whole thing, and I've just spent 10 minutes repeatedly rewinding the soundtrack so as to get it word for word. American squirrel speak is a little difficult to understand... I've worked it out word for word so guys, give it your best shot, let us know what it is, and 500g good raw coffee beans will be in the mail to the first person to get it. If the first person to get is not into coffee roasting at home, I'll substitute 500g of nice fresh roasted coffee beans instead. Over to you then... Cheers, FC

pab

here it is... I want a f#$%^&g Large Hazelnut Coffee not that other sucky taste you have

admin

Hi Pab - very impressive attempt but not quite there...have convened the judging panel to see whether it's close enough. Decision on Monday. -A

pab

Interesting judgement... I'm keen to find out what the decision is. My legal team is ready ;D Was it 500g of Jamicia Blue Mountain up for grabs??

john_2

Pab I thought that I read a trip for two to Jamaica ;D JD

pab

Cool... I can go twice!!!

FreshCoffee2

Hi Pab, you're close, but not quite there in terms of word for word! I reckon if you or someone else doesn't come up with the ducks guts within say another 24 hours, the prize is yours. Cheers, FC.

admin

Competition result We have consulted original sources (ancient Sanskrit manuscripts dating back thousands of years) and it seems that Pab was actually correct in his interpretation of the words spoken by the omniscient squirrel...(for the record, FC spent all last week sleeping with headphones on trying to get the definitive wording, but a kind viewer actually referred us to the squirrel's website which had the official script). Therefore Pab is officially the winner of the 500g -congratulations! -A

FreshCoffee2

Ok Ok Ok, there have been some behind the scenes wranglings over this and it has been decided that Pab's attempt is as close as we need (and actually our esteemed Admin has a direct line to god and apparently was given access to a script...can you believe this???). So raise your right arm and take the bow Pab, you've won. When you're ready contact me offlist with your delivery details and we'll send you the prize! Oh me, Oh my, FC.

john_2

Pab Consmuckulations I had numerous attempts with no luck. Question? How many times did you actually visit the store and talk to the staff??? JD

pab

woo hoo!!! I'll admitt that finding the script was a big help!!!

admin

Hi there Pab - actually, the reason there was some doubt is that sometimes you do find performers actually deviate from the script - and if you listen closely, there is good reason to say that this is the Squirrel's actual line: "...not that, you know suckie undertaste you people have, f*%*ing nasty, spare me the undertaste" - at least FC thought so (& he did have 3-4 sleepless nights over it), however in the end the official script won on the day. -A

Reschsmooth

Dang, shouldn't I get something for providing the link to such hilarity (or in FC's case, insomnia)? (When I say 'something' I actually mean 500gm of expertly roasted Jamaica Blue Mountain.... ;D ;D)

pab

Pat, You get the honour of choosing the next competition!!!

FreshCoffee2

Pab, check your post today! Cheers, FC.

Reschsmooth

A bit more hilarity. For those who get slightly offended by anything not 100% endorsed by Family First, don't bother playing the link. I can guarantee there are no g-string shots either. http://www.illwillpress.com/coffeehouse.html I hope you got a laugh, and were able to forget about all the little stressors we face everyday, including intolerance. Have a grand weekend, and lend your support to the Cammeray Cricket club this Saturday! 8) Patrick

Gonzo

Brilliant and very much to the point...again. G.

admin

continuing the theme of reviving some of our most popular threads - click on the link two posts above for scary squirrel II Admin Patrick - do you know why the link to the original is no longer working?