And now for something completely different. (humour)

Lwowiak

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Brisbane . 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?' After several seconds of quiet, a 75 year old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding cake.'

derrilex

In a bid to rekindle their sex life, a woman pleaded with her husband to go to the doctor and get some of those pills that give men a erection. Upon his return the wife said excitedly " did you get the pills ?". The man reached into his pocket and placed a bottle of diet pills on the counter. He now sleeps in the shed.