Coffee tragedies - add your tragic coffee stories here...

Koffee_Kosmo

Let’s do a cause and effect Maatt What time of day did this tragedy happen ? Morning is the worst time for such a tragedy to happen Or if you were feeling unwell Or in a big hurry for a coffee fix All contribute to bad hand eye coordination KK

artman

Years ago I made a mega bean cooler which consisted of a garden blower vac. Cooled a roast batch in seconds! I secured a plastic bucket to the suction end. Inside the bucket I had a sieve that fitted very tightly so no need to secure the sieve in the bucket. Until the time where I was cooling about half a kilo of beans, accidentally knocked the bucket which deformed, the sieve inside rotated and the blower vac pulverised the beans which spat out EVERYWHERE all over the garage with huge force! I’m still finding bits of beans on various spots! Cheers

Koffee_Kosmo

That is tragic But if I was an observer it would have bean funny to watch  :stir KK

artman

It was rather amusing!! Cheers

Simon

on 1522465467:

Years ago I made a mega bean cooler which consisted of a garden blower vac. Cooled a roast batch in seconds! I secured a plastic bucket to the suction end. Inside the bucket I had a sieve that fitted very tightly so no need to secure the sieve in the bucket. Until the time where I was cooling about half a kilo of beans, accidentally knocked the bucket which deformed, the sieve inside rotated and the blower vac pulverised the beans which spat out EVERYWHERE all over the garage with huge force! I’m still finding bits of beans on various spots! Cheers

Ah yikes that is tragic artman ;D, hopefully they weren't a Geisha bean or anything!

Brett H

on 1522465467:

Years ago I made a mega bean cooler which consisted of a garden blower vac. Cooled a roast batch in seconds! I secured a plastic bucket to the suction end. Inside the bucket I had a sieve that fitted very tightly so no need to secure the sieve in the bucket. Until the time where I was cooling about half a kilo of beans, accidentally knocked the bucket which deformed, the sieve inside rotated and the blower vac pulverised the beans which spat out EVERYWHERE all over the garage with huge force! I’m still finding bits of beans on various spots! Cheers

This is not tragic...it's glorious.  I have tear imagining the carnage.  It's like a Bruckner Symphony... an homage to all that is the frailty of the human existence.  Bravo Sir!1

K_Bean_Coffee

Here’s a tragic messy eggspresso from Easter Day..... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Simon

on 1522717091:

Here’s a tragic messy eggspresso from Easter Day..... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Haha ah wow Paul! Even so, still looks delicious! Have never tried one of these yet hehe..

K_Bean_Coffee

on 1522720671:

Haha ah wow Paul! Even so, still looks delicious! Have never tried one of these yet hehe..

You really have to give it a go Simon. Cheers Paul www.kbean.com.au

Brett H

on 1522720787:

You really have to give it a go Simon. Cheers Paul www.kbean.com.au

We gave this a go two years ago when it was first trending.  I wasn't really a fan but I'm glad we tried it... It screams Happy Easter!

Simon

Ugh... Only a few went on the floor so no biggie XD

Brett H

Hello little Compak Grinder.... you've been sick all over the benchtop.  What blend is Simon feeding you that you need to do that!

Simon

on 1523421939:

Hello little Compak Grinder.... you've been sick all over the benchtop.  What blend is Simon feeding you that you need to do that!

Hahaha Brett XD. Ah definitely a quality bean, but perhaps my Compak is just in a grumpy mood today XD (that or I knocked my little bean canister when getting beans out of the throat of the grinder, a DOH! sorta moment!)

Brett H

Lol... I hate it when that happens.  Having owned a K10 and now a Robur I'd like to say that the Mazzer has this problem sorted.  It doesn't, but I'd love to be able to say it :D

askthecoffeeguy

on 1522465467:

Years ago I made a mega bean cooler which consisted of a garden blower vac. Cooled a roast batch in seconds! I secured a plastic bucket to the suction end. Inside the bucket I had a sieve that fitted very tightly so no need to secure the sieve in the bucket. Until the time where I was cooling about half a kilo of beans, accidentally knocked the bucket which deformed, the sieve inside rotated and the blower vac pulverised the beans which spat out EVERYWHERE all over the garage with huge force! I’m still finding bits of beans on various spots! Cheers

oh wow that's pretty epic and hard to beat !

askthecoffeeguy

went to a coffee shop in rural Queensland yesterday and ordered a coffee - it was the best rated place in town for coffee - but that doesn't mean much given the lack of competition! I was actually intrigued by the coffee as I dissected the number of steps necessary to make a coffee so bad and what I wound up with was the following: split shots from 14g baskets with coffee that's either old or stale or both and not dialed in properly, combined with reheated milk ! look it wasn't the worst coffee I've ever had by a long shot but even 10ml of the coffee that I make at home would have had more flavour (and probably more caffeine) in it ! it was so weak that I actually offered some to my 9year old to try - and she promptly returned it and said, "Yuck, it's burnt !" and she was right ! I just wondered how it was possible to have coffee that was both weak and tastes burnt at the same time ! I actually went back a few hours latter and ordered another coffee from the same place coz I'd been up since 5am and I needed the caffeine hit for the drive back - and I asked for half milk this time and I got a perfectly acceptable and well made (if still weak) coffee from another barista, which me over the line for the drive home which just goes to show that: a)  you shouldn't judge a place based upon a single coffee, and b)  sometimes you have to ask for what you want and make adjustments for the house style to get something that you'd be happy to drink ! I guess the main take home for me is that I very seldom order coffee from places that are not rated or recommended to me, and that it can still be a shock to the system to learn that some places are still making coffee the same way that it was made 20 years ago !

Simon

on 1523687968:

went to a coffee shop in rural Queensland yesterday and ordered a coffee - it was the best rated place in town for coffee - but that doesn't mean much given the lack of competition! I was actually intrigued by the coffee as I dissected the number of steps necessary to make a coffee so bad and what I wound up with was the following: split shots from 14g baskets with coffee that's either old or stale or both and not dialed in properly, combined with reheated milk ! look it wasn't the worst coffee I've ever had by a long shot but even 10ml of the coffee that I make at home would have had more flavour (and probably more caffeine) in it ! it was so weak that I actually offered some to my 9year old to try - and she promptly returned it and said, "Yuck, it's burnt !" and she was right ! I just wondered how it was possible to have coffee that was both weak and tastes burnt at the same time ! I actually went back a few hours latter and ordered another coffee from the same place coz I'd been up since 5am and I needed the caffeine hit for the drive back - and I asked for half milk this time and I got a perfectly acceptable and well made (if still weak) coffee from another barista, which me over the line for the drive home which just goes to show that: a)  you shouldn't judge a place based upon a single coffee, and b)  sometimes you have to ask for what you want and make adjustments for the house style to get something that you'd be happy to drink ! I guess the main take home for me is that I very seldom order coffee from places that are not rated or recommended to me, and that it can still be a shock to the system to learn that some places are still making coffee the same way that it was made 20 years ago !

Ah wow, yeah very true to not base your view of a place based on one coffee order. The best places are incredibly consistent and usually all staff are trained to be on the same page, but every now and then something just won't come out right, and I don't blame them, happens to me at home too!

Simon

Alrighty, a new one for today haha. Was just grinding up the last of my Colombian beans to give it a go in the Aeropress, ground about 13 grams and then the burrs just cut out! Had no idea what was going on, had a look inside and lo and behold, a bit of what looks like perspex was caught in the burrs! (Pic below) I have no idea how it got in there... something caught my eye in the bag earlier but I just thought it was the light reflecting off it. I removed it, cleared it out a bit, ground up the rest and still had my coffee, just popped two filters on just to be sure XD. Not sure if the burrs are damaged, they look okay to the eye. And also when brewing, I flipped the Aeropress and gave it a swirl, the top compartment popped off and bit of coffee exploded about and in my face! Looks like today I just wasn't meant to have coffee... XD

Cuir Beluga

It almost looks like a piece off a grinder hopper. I had a mishap myself a few weeks back. I had just changed out my beans to some Yemen Ismaili that I had really been looking forward to. I went to do my pour and it ran a bit fast so I dialled back the grinder and tried again. I went back too far so I had nothing coming out at all. I coarsened the grind a bit and still nothing came out. I fiddled around a bit for another 4 or 5 shots and was about to throw something so switched off figuring I would go back to it with a clear head later on, I was convinced my machine had a problem. I decided to empty the hopper and put back the beans I had in before hand. I put the grinder back to where it was and I would go from there. I heated the machine, went to grind, got the portafilter half full and it cut out on me, it wouldn't budge. Luckily hubby just walked in from work and he pulled it apart and found a stone- my first one ever. Luckily no damage was done but I have started checking even more thouroughly as next time I may not be so lucky.

askthecoffeeguy

I work from hope as a remote trainer and today I was on the phone assisting a learner, when I looked up to see the kitchen and half the lounge room covered in plumes of blue smoke ! turns out the single origin Uganda coffee that I was roasting had hit first crack and smoke was everywhere! don't usually leave my roasts unattended but I was out of coffee and I had a busy day planned, so I new that I would be needing a good cup of java or two ! good thing I caught it in time ! Pat

Cuir Beluga

Woah! That was a close call.

askthecoffeeguy

not as bad as the other day when I tried to change the group seal on my machine I hadn't had a coffee yet and the task of changing a seal on my e61 single group seemed beyond me! I stabbed away at it for about an hour my caffeine withdrawal headache getting worse by the minute then I thought, hey, my two group Ducale is plumbed in and ready to go, why don't I just use that? so I turned it on, waited 20 mins, made myself a coffee, then in less than 2 mins I screwed a small screw into the old seal, pulled it out with a pair of plyers, and inserted the new seal! an hr and a half of fluffing around with no tangible benefit - then two minutes after coffee and the job is done ! Pat

Cuir Beluga

Ha ha, I wouldn't tackle anything like that myself, caffeinated or not  8)

Brett H

Wow... good save Pat! I’ve had a rock through the grinder (most likely hard clay) and it made no discernible damage. Perspex won’t cause burrs any issue I imagine.

Simon

on 1563328888:

It almost looks like a piece off a grinder hopper. I had a mishap myself a few weeks back. I had just changed out my beans to some Yemen Ismaili that I had really been looking forward to. I went to do my pour and it ran a bit fast so I dialled back the grinder and tried again. I went back too far so I had nothing coming out at all. I coarsened the grind a bit and still nothing came out. I fiddled around a bit for another 4 or 5 shots and was about to throw something so switched off figuring I would go back to it with a clear head later on, I was convinced my machine had a problem. I decided to empty the hopper and put back the beans I had in before hand. I put the grinder back to where it was and I would go from there. I heated the machine, went to grind, got the portafilter half full and it cut out on me, it wouldn't budge. Luckily hubby just walked in from work and he pulled it apart and found a stone- my first one ever. Luckily no damage was done but I have started checking even more thouroughly as next time I may not be so lucky.

Yes it really does look like a part of a hopper, but strangely I didn't even have the hopper on, just a blind filter to cover the top... so strange... Ah yiiiikes, stones are the worst.. never had any but heard a few stories!

Simon

on 1563358214:

Wow... good save Pat! I’ve had a rock through the grinder (most likely hard clay) and it made no discernible damage. Perspex won’t cause burrs any issue I imagine.

Ah that's great to know... burrs looked ok, and the coffee after was delightful

Cuir Beluga

on 1563360036:

Yes it really does look like a part of a hopper, but strangely I didn't even have the hopper on, just a blind filter to cover the top... so strange... Ah yiiiikes, stones are the worst.. never had any but heard a few stories!

It sure does. Hopefully it will be my last, I try to be more careful now.