Coffee Humor Thread * add the fun stuff here*

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• derrilex

  September 2012

  There is a big fucken mountain of chippies pencils out there somewhere. I go through 2 a day. :rofl:

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• Koffee_Kosmo

  August 2014

  One has to love this -  :thumb: Enjoy An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now! Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes. The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther. The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old Doberman sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says ..... "Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!" Moral of this story... Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Bull Shit and brilliance only come with age and experience. KK

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• derrilex

  August 2014

  Bwahahahahaha, gold

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• Lwowiak

  August 2014

  [size=12pt]The Sensuous Wife[/size] "Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?"...the woman asked her husband. "No"...said her husband. She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse...and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra...and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill. He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her .....and smiled approvingly. "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"... She then asked her husband? "Uh...no, I haven't" ...he said (with an anxious tone in his voice). She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties... And pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill. He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill... And started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.. "Now" ...she said. "Have you ever seen $30,000 Dollars all crumpled up?" "No way" ...he said (while obviously becoming even more aroused... And excited). "Well go look in the garage!"...she said

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• Lwowiak

  August 2014

  [size=12pt]A Harley and a Jar of Vaseline[/size] Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. 'Well, it's quite simple really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.' (true story) And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.' 'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.' 'No problem,' he says.. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks. Dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and makes love to her, right there in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. 'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her panties, and has his way with her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table. After she has a big orgasm, he sits down again. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is pleasantly beaming. But still,  no one says a word

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• Lwowiak

  August 2014

  [size=12pt]Catholic Morning Coffee in Rome.[/size] Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having  coffee in St. Peter's Square. The first  Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a  priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him  'Father'." The second Catholic man chirps, "My  son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."  The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a  Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your  Eminence'." The  fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call  him 'Your Holiness'." Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in  silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?" She  proudly replies, "I have a daughter, SLIM TALL BLONDE 38DD BREASTS 24" WAIST and  36" HIPS. . . . . . When she walks into a room, people  say, "Jesus Christ

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• Koffee_Kosmo

  August 2014

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• GeekKopi

  May 2015

  For those that watch "The Weekly" on ABC, here is a very funny video about Australian coffee culture. I posted this video on my little Facebook community page. https://www.facebook.com/EspressoLifeAU/videos/575489859257157/

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• admin

  June 2015

  I'll have mine 'tasteless' please

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