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After the old forum software breaking in a way that we were unable to fix, we've migrated the site to a new platform.

Some elements aren't working as we'd hoped - some avatars didn't survive the transition, and we're still having issues with attachments that weren't added as inline images, but we're hoping to have that all sorted out soon.

13 signs you are a Coffee Snob...

adminadmin
edited January 1970 in Off-topic
Thought this was pretty funny [from 'Food Republic' in the US]:

1. You not only have a regular coffee bar, but a regular barista. He or she knows your usual order, which is whatever happens to be the single-origin special of the day. You have a secret crush on this person and, unbeknownst to them, you both have the same tattoo. It
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  • Brett HBrett H
    14.  You won't accept an out of town gig without checking on the coffee situation first.
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  • mycuppamycuppa
    15. You weigh every shot on a scale with 3 decimal points. 16. Every shot or brew is timed with Olympic precision. 17. You find it impossible to enter a cafe unless they use a La Moccha, Sneezio, Slayed-it or kVW and at least 4 robur-E grinders. 18. You wear a tribly or other hipster-hat to mimic the crush you have on your barista (see #1). 19. You talk about shot's opening up all the time. The point at which it "opens" is uber-important. 20. You don't put any beans in your grinder unless they have been blog'd about by at least 2 other sources. 21. There is a pile of ground coffee around your robur-E that exceeds the quantity of beans in the hopper - because you "just can't dial that sucker in atm". there's more, but it's getting late.
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  • askthecoffeeguyaskthecoffeeguy
    22  You dont travel anywhere, including fabled coffee destinations, without your hand grinder and a clever coffee dripper 'just in case'...
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  • derrilexderrilex
    23. You order 3/4 length flat whites (Pat)  :stir :laugh:
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  • Seeya LatteSeeya Latte
    24. You roast
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  • Koffee_KosmoKoffee_Kosmo
    25 - I am not a Snob - I am perfectly normal thank you
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  • Brett HBrett H
    26. You don't allow tea in the house... PERIOD!
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  • RichardMRichardM
    on 1371707901:
    26. You don't allow tea in the house... PERIOD!
    You need tea to give to anyone who doesn't like your coffee (and takeaway cups to send them on their way).
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  • Brett HBrett H
    on 1371716372:
    You need tea to give to anyone who doesn't like your coffee (and takeaway cups to send them on their way).
    No RM, you need to give them something: lawn clippings, tree mulch, pot poori etc.  it doesn't have to be tea and you're less of a coffee aficionado if it is... except Nerada!
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  • askthecoffeeguyaskthecoffeeguy
    27 you smile and nod politely when a customer wants to know why your coffee is more expensive than it is in Rosanna
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  • KevohereKevohere
    28. You wake up to the realization that your beloved Minore III is no longer sitting on the bench top and you're faced with a problem: which process will I use of the 5 other methods you have, to make your mornin' heart starter :exclaim:
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  • greenmangreenman
    29. Deciding between the Kenyan Thiaru, El Sal finca Alaska, Wahana, Guatamala Santa Clara for my morning pourover--'decisions, decisions!!'  :coffee2: :coffee2:
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  • Brett HBrett H
    30. Choosing a beer at a luncheon despite freezing temperatures because the Racilio s20 and Mazzer SJ Electronica look unclean!
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  • askthecoffeeguyaskthecoffeeguy
    31 you have 3 filter coffees and a flat white before you have 'breakfast'...
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  • C-manC-man
    You
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  • JonathonJonathon
    on 1371955851:
    You
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  • Brett HBrett H
    on 1371958406:
    Until about a week ago I'd never heard of Geisha, but I want to know why you'd walk into Starbucks in the first place? Until I googled it a minute ago I didn't know that cortado was just a Spanish version of a long mac, but I think anybody who asks for one this side of the Med is a bit of a...well I'll keep it clean. And I really do draw the line at people who laugh at me using my aeropress at work while telling me how good their nespresso machine is!
    32.  When gifted a voucher to the Neswrecho store you burn it, brew the ashes and pronounce it their best cuppa to date! 33.  You refuse to spell Nexpresso proper-like!
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  • RoninRonin
    on 1371958406:
    Until I googled it a minute ago I didn't know that cortado was just a Spanish version of a long mac
    34  You feel the need to point out a Cortados is more of a piccolo than a long mac  :-|   Ahhh the pointless technicalities
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  • derrilexderrilex
    35. You know what a cortado is.  :D
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  • RoninRonin
    on 1371977610:
    35. You know what a cortado is.  :D
    36. You feel the need to point out spelling mistakes for D. Cortados (note the 'S' on the end)  :rofl:
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  • RoninRonin
    on 1371978037:
    36. You feel the need to point out spelling mistakes for D. Cortados (note the 'S' on the end)  :rofl:
    37.  You don't really know what a Cortados is but you make it up as you go to seem more like a coffeesnob.
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  • derrilexderrilex
    on 1371978037:
    36. You feel the need to point out spelling mistakes for D. Cortados (note the 'S' on the end)  :rofl:
    Shall not even dignify that with a response  - shite, I just did.
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  • Brett HBrett H
    38. You feel the need to dignify corrections to your spelling of coffee-mediums with a response.
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  • derrilexderrilex
    39.  :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X
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  • askthecoffeeguyaskthecoffeeguy
    40 you go to a night of new age meditation and changing but are unable to close your eyes and 'relax' through any of it coz you're still way to wired from your daily coffee consumption ...
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  • Brett HBrett H
    on 1371994324:
    40 you go to a night of new age meditation and changing but are unable to close your eyes and 'relax' through any of it coz you're still way to wired from your daily coffee consumption ...
    LoL!!
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